_Adulting: A thought...Young at heart with an old soul.

25 years apart, same attitude
I have turned into that person I never thought I would. That person who now gets more excited to go into H&M Home than H&M. That person who gets excited over a discount code for a new hoover. (If anyone has a code for a Dyson, I really need a new one). 
That person who cleans the house...FOR FUN!
When did I actually turn into an adult? I have lived away from home now for nearly 5 years. 5 years paying bills, cooking, cleaning and washing. I’m a fierce independent woman, until I can’t build a side table and call my mum in tears because I screwed the leg in the wrong way around, so she drives the long 15 minutes to my flat to help me, and brings my dog BonBon for moral support.

I get excited to see my friends picking out new curtains for their flats, or deciding what colour to paint their feature wall. But at the same time, I can quite comfortably spend a Saturday afternoon watching classic Disney films.
I think I get more social media jealous over people's creativity when it comes to home decor these days. Jess (my bessie) and I are constantly sending each other pictures of pillows and colour schemes. I call her flat the show home, because it's absolutely stunning. As long as my sofa and curtains don't clash, that's a success. 
I still haven't got new blinds for my bedroom, I didn't anticipate staying in my flat this long. Now every time I look at my window, all I can think about it what drapes to buy. I've been procrastinating for 5 years! Does that make me an adult for wanting new curtains or a child for procrastinating about it?
I wish I had her taste and eye for detail (her gorgeous window)
So, I guess the real question is, do we ever really grow up?
As we get older, we gain a lot more responsibilities. If there is no food in the fridge, I go hungry. If I don’t clean my flat, it stays dusty. If I don’t wash my clothes… No, no, I always wash my clothes, there is literally nothing worse than unwashed clothes, but you catch my drift. I worry about locking my front door, taking the washing out, unloading the dishwasher. 
When I was younger, I never imagined I would become that kind of person.

Everyone says, “It gets better in your 20’s.” As an adult you become a lot more self assured.

NOPE, they lied! If anything, as a teenager I was firmly in a bubble, the routine of school everyday and I was so convinced I was going to imminently be Broadways Biggest New Star, nothing phased me. (Not even kidding, when I got to finals for a show when I was 16, I told my maths teacher I might not make it to parents evening as I will have probably left school by then...safe to say, that didn't happen).
My 20’s has been about, learning, touring, independence, theatre, friends, boys and figuring out what house and car insurance I need. Today, I'm waiting in for a SKY engineer, now that's real adulting. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy experiencing life, it’s just funny how things change so quickly. I have certainly learnt a lot about myself. For example, when I lived with my parents, my room was a mess all the time. Now it actually stresses me out when my towels aren’t hung up or I haven't hoovered in a few days. All my own fault of course.
Seriously, who am I?

Even with these responsibilities, it’s difficult to see yourself getting older. Every year, my birthday comes round, and I freak out about it, don't really know why, I just do. Considering I'm such an old soul by nature. My birthday is less than 2 weeks away now, and I can already feel my eye wrinkles deepening and my back seizing. (Even more than it already does). My friends always ask, “what are you doing for your birthday this year?” My usual reply is, “Oh god, I don’t know, nothing?” Then last minute I will most likely plan a tea at my parents. Going out drinking makes me nervous, only because I worry that I'll want to go home first and no one will let me because it's my birthday. Is that sad?
It's the last year of my 20's, I really should make it count. I honestly hate telling people my age, but I guess it's about time I own it.
I will also add, the “Birthday Tea” text has gone out to the family. Predictable.

I don’t think we ever really grow out of the habit of needing people, or wanting to be needed. Whether it’s needing friends, family, or a handyman to fix things (This usually being my 82 year old Papo). I have never been afraid of my own company and being independently proactive, but there are just some things that I need moral support on…like building any kind of Ikea furniture (Seriously, I suck at it. It usually begins with me in tears and then I calm down whilst other family members complete the job) and I don't think that will ever change.

Everyone experiences life differently. Most of my friends are married, about to get married or already have kids! I am SO not there yet, and age is just a number, just because I am in the OVER’s category for X Factor, (I used to think 25 was so old) does not mean I am past it! 

If it's home decor you enjoy, online shopping for the newest Dyson, or watching animated films with a selection of party ring biscuits, you do you! 
I'm young at heart with an old soul!
I'm only just getting started!



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